sunday scribblings: fantasy

Driving to my parents’ house the other day – another mundane trip to pick mom up and schlep her to the doctor’s office. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Until pixie dust began to drift from the sky, soft and white in the grey light of winter. It danced along with a pixie’s whims as it came down in flecks and chips and driblets of magic which struck my car and melted, invisible on the windshield and the hood’s black paint. Without thought, my mouth formed the old chant, “I do believe in fairies.” I do. I released the wheel for a second to softly clap my hands. Then, as I hit the gas, I could feel the car rise up from the pavement, accelerating skywards. My steering wheel was set for the second star to the right, winking at me through the morning light and the falling pixie dust.

I blinked, plunged earthward, snapped back from fantasy to reality. I signaled, turned left, stopped on red. Another mundane trip, nothing out of the ordinary.

sunday scribblings - kiss

Tension: palpable. Nerves in overdrive when faced with opportunity after months of "if only..." I can't quite meet his eyes, blue and searching mine for something. Permission to proceed? I am frozen just a heartbeat away from the word yes. I am frozen, tense, tensed. For a moment I can see those years we didn't speak, lost time a gulf between us as we sit side-by-side. But he bridges that gap, rubs my back, gentling me as I think to bolt. His fingers brush through my hair, soothing. I let myself relax. I thaw.

I lean back into his kneading hands, into his arms, warm, welcoming, oddly familiar after all this time. Just what I need. I breathe. His fingers trail up, trace my jawline, tremble against my cheek; his hand a gentle guide turning my face to his. No thought, no pause, I lean into him once more with my eyes closed, lips parted in a silent sigh. We meet midway for just a moment in a kiss that's a question, soft and wondering. Then a second, this one a statement, lips slightly moistened, touching, lingering, pulling slowly away. Less wondering, no less wonderful. Our first (this time around) kiss.

in a word

Most of the time, words reflect reality, but sometimes they carry the power instead to shape it. Inspired by Ali Edwards to tap into that power, I sat down to think of a word, my word, to shape 2007.

Several words for weighty concepts came to mind. Peace, joy, love... after all, who doesn't want more of those in their lives? And then it struck me that while sometimes, wanting is where the power lies because it leads to change, sometimes, wanting weakens, and better isn't found in more. That is the threshold reached when we already have enough.

And that was it. That's my word. What I want most in this new-born year, is to have ENOUGH.

*to be grateful that I have so much and let that be ENOUGH
*to accept my loved ones as they are and know that they're ENOUGH
*to stop accumulating senselessly because I own ENOUGH
*to be met halfway in compromise and say that it's ENOUGH
*to eat no more once my stomach tells me it has had ENOUGH
*to recognize when it's time to step back and say, "ENOUGH"